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Update 2010...just a quickie

Hey there, Im back again after another long gap from LJ.
Whats happend so far? Lets see, I got engaged at Christmas. Got a flat with my fiance and am working at British Foundation.
Life is ok, has its moments, but hey who doesnt :P
Right now I am melting on the sofa even though all the windows are open and there are two fans in the room! :&
Anyhoos Im off to drink some coke and tryyyyy and cool down.
Wish me luck.....

Updates people


Had an interesting day today. I had to go into hospital to have an Endoscopy. I was very nervous as I've never had one before. I used to have a procedure called and upper GI when I was younger. This is all to do with my op when I was a baby. ( My windpipe and gullet were joined together) And I had to go for regular check ups to make sure everything was okay.  But I havent had one since I was 7.
But I have always had trouble eating. Like if I dont chew properly food wood get stuck and it felt like and extreme case of heartburn and tightness.
But its been getting bad and silly lately, so I went to the docs and he reffered me up to the hospital to see if I needed my gullet streched like I used to when I was tiny.

So skip forward to tuesday and Im waiting in the ward bay, feeling nervous. Stew was going to stay with me but his mum wouldnt be able to pick him up after he passes out from seeing a needle. So he want off to the hospital cafe. Which was okay coz I had my Mum with me so I wasnt alone.
My nervousness was made even worse when the doctor came to see me. He realed off all the possible side effects (including needing a blood transfusion!) and told me that if I needed my gullet streched he would do it today. Not that I would say no to it. I just dont like being unprepared for stuff like that.

An hour later I was changed into a gown that was waay to long for me and taken into the procedure room.
The nurses were very nice, I started crying and she dried my tears and encouraged me that I was doing well.
I had a throat spray, to make my throat numb. This felt very wierd as I slowly lost the feeling. And I had a sedation too, So I was greedy in that sense lol.
The actual Endoscopy was very quick and before I knew it, I was back on the outpatient ward, drinking juice and eating biscuits.
I was a bit wobbly and sleepy for a while afterwards. But after chilling out at home, I went back to Braughing with Mum.


A bit of a nicer day. No tubes and cameras in site lol.
Me and mum went shopping in Stevenage today. I got myself and new coat and pair of jeans. I couldnt belive it when I tried the jeans on though. I now where, half my age! I used to wear age 11 but I bought some the other day in that size and they are huge on me. But the age 10s fit perfectly. Tis not fair. If New Look ever go bust, Im going to be buggered.


Went up to Ashford today and payed the money for my kit and got my student ID. The photo was okay, I had my nervous smile on though, but hey it could be worse. It could look like my passport photo! :P


Lovely chilled day today. Done some washing and tidied the bedroom a bit. Went on Facebook and checked the times for the bus to Uni tomorrow. I was going to read but had a head ache and got sleepy. May try and read later and just chill out. Conserve my energy for UNI tomorrow!!! Getting excited :) Lets hope it all goes off without a hitch :)

Sunday (happy face)

What an awesome day Im having so far. Day of chill and rest, but still so good. Woke up in really good mood and still going strong.
Yesterday I decided what Im going to work towards on my Uni course. I want to be a shoe designer. I may not have a pair of Jimmy Choos or Minolos, but this is my reasoning behind it.
As I said in a previous post, Id love to create fashionable womens shoes that are both for petite women, (size 1 and up) and most improtantly, affordable.
So thats made me feel alot more settled about things and the near future.   Im going to get my pencils and paper out later and have a good design session.

So yeah, today I got up with a big spring in my step, just for the sheer fun of it, things have been too serious lately and I figured its time for some good days.
Alsooo another thing that has added to an awesome day (although im trying to keep a calm head on just in case, buuut I hopefully might get my studen moneys tomorw! which would be a huge help. I could pay of my course and kit fee within the next week instead of having the deadline of before 9:30 or no course!  AAAnd I can get stuff for uni that I wanted to get before I started.

Very good times today! :0) Lets hope it carries on to tomorow.

Update, Sunday Sunday Sunday!

Hey hey!
Had a good day today. Went down town, got some new jeans, muchly needed as the ones I was wearing were hugeamongus on me!
Then got some bits for New aaand applied for another job, (I applied for a job at Claire's the other day, havent heard back yet, but fingers crossed I will soon) Even if I dont get it, its still nice to know either way.

I've managed to get over the creative block I had a couple weeks back as of yesterday, so thats very awesome.
I finally have a goal for what to do after Uni, wich is good as I had such a panic the other day about it. My goal for after the Fashion course is to start my own line of petite clothes., And I mean petite, not size 6 jeans and if you're any smaller, tough, head for the childrens section, kind of Petite!
Also, I might tackle shoes. Im sure, and have seen other ladies of my hieght and build around, I think its about time we were able to buy really nice shoes and not have to pay extorsionate prices because  the ones that are out there are from a specailist catalogue from Barrats :P No more glitter, Flowers and stupidly chunky heals!!
So yeah things are good this week. Lets hope it keeps going.

Off to Uni to enrol on Wednesday! Excitting stuff, lets hope I can make some friends that day, if not when I start on the 14th.

I still need to buy some bits before the 14th, bags, coat and belts and such other lovely thigs. But the good thing is, Ive been collecting some money and percentage off vouchers for my fave shops, so that tis coolies!!! Saving money, very good times.
I feel the need to buy some stationary too, STATIONARY!!!!!PENS!!!! Slightly obsessed? Never! .......?


Tuesday Update

Busy week coming up. On Thursday got to go out to an appointment with Stew. Then on the 2nd Im off to Ashford to enrol at Uni. 9:30 am eek!
Im Looking forward to it actually, I dont mind a nice train ride, As long as I dont get lost :P.
I need to call the Uni tomorow, as I tried to today but all the lecturers are on training day so no one was availible. Need to get a map sent to me so I know the way to the campus from the train station, Also I want to know how long the day is going to be, wether its just an afternoon thing as or all day. Would be nice to know, to have some incling when Im going to get back home.

I also need to figure out wether I should get an advanced ticket for the train or get one on the day. Hmm tis a puzzle.

My laptop has offcially died now. Yet again it got another virus. Really annoying coz my laptop is so slow and such a sucky memory that it wont let me run any anti virus properly, so its either I have the virus protection and not actually use the thing, or I risk the evil stuff getting through, which has happened, And yesterday when I was trying to fix it, the screen went black, with the mouse still visible. So yeah, I figue thats it! *heavy sigh*
My plan now is to look into a mini laptop, its basically the same as a normal LT but just without a CD drive, which isnt really a big loss, i havent listened to music the my lt in ages and the main thing I need a new one for is when I start doing disertations and research for uni. Also, a big bonus, min laptops are cheaper, So Im thinking of how to pay for it, and hopefully I'll get one when I start Uni, if not before.

Hot...very hot!

Im not one for moaning when we finally get some sunshine,but man this heat is too much! Feeling so tired from the heat and I havent done anything!
Well tell a lie, I did sort out the dvds into genre's and made dinner, so not too veg like of a day :P
Im just sitting on the laptop thinking how its going to be really good to make some new friends when I go to uni, thats all as long as they dont think Im too quirky and wierd.
Ah how my self confidence has fallen in the past few months, I guess this is what comes from not being out there for so long. But hey, I made a choice and I have never regreted it. Im with someone who loves me and in a house with people who care about me.
I just think its a shame some people got lost along the way to me finding happiness.

Called my nan this afternoon, nice to catch up and make sure she is okay and looking after herself.  Had a call from mum too, which was nice. I do miss her, even though she drives me crazy sometimes as only mothers do lol.
Been looking after my Farm on facebook today aswell. Its looking quite nice 'my ol' farm', got rice and weat and rasberries. Im cashing in alot of coins from the harvest. Very nice, if only it was real cash *sigh* lol.

Ive been trying to keep up my designs before I start uni, but its not been happening. Maybe a magazine is needed to get some inspration and some creative juices flowing.
I have even tried to get back into fanfic writing again. Started a Torchwood/Supernatural one. Not got very far though. Tis my brain, she no work!

Off down town tomorow at some point in late afternoon, maybe. Errands to be run and all that jazz.

Grrrrrrrr, heavy sigh and so on

Question. Am I a mean person? Do I have a personality that seeks to ensure people are upset?
Nope, I didnt think so. Well that is until bout 5 minutes ago.
I try so hard to please everybody. I often forget about myself and i dont care because I want people to be happy, i want to make sure they are okay.
But it seems that is not enough. Even though Ive had alot to contend with lately, some people cant see that I guess, and instead of asking how I am and why ive been distant, they just pile on the guilt on thier part and how badly Ive treated them.
Its not fair.
I cant do everything. I have too many people I care about to get round to everybody.

Sunday Chill day

Had a nice chilling day today. Watched Transformers with Stew and milled about on the laptop, perusing Facebook and such.
Cant believe how tired Iam from not doing much though, I have my suspisions that the muggy heat has something to do with it though hmmm.

So much to think about for the next to upcoming weeks though. Gotta go into Ashford and enrol at Uni on the 2nd then actually start on the 14th!!! Ahhhh Craziness, its come round so quick. Gonna be so nice to be doing something during the day though and getting back to doing creative stuff again, Not sure what Im gona get into at the end of the two years though, Maybe costume design or fashion illustration?
Ooh and got the hospital on the 25th september too! almost for got :s Go see if I need to have a stretch or not, and that is my gullet to be streched not my legs for those who noticed the possible short joke in there!

Might give my mum a call tomorow and really should email my dad  at some point too.

A list of things to look forward to

1. Starting Uni in September

2. Seeing if Iam as much a disaster at sewing as i think I am.

3. Seeing if I can remedy that asap! :P

4. Looking for a place with Stew of our own

5. Chilling out with my Stewie and having lots of hugs

6. Getting in there and stuck in with my course, being all arty again!! Cant wait!!

7. Getting up at stupid O.clock....NOT!!!

8. Chilling out and sharing uni stories with Lucy

9. Stuff

I cant think of anything else right now.. Im sure i will at a later date.

Things have been a bit all over the place lateyl so I thought id make a list of things that get me through.

1. My boyfreind stew and his smile

2. My new extended family.. Ness, Lucy and Amy....and shilo of course :P

3. A phone call from my mum now and then

4. Making new friends on Facebook (Hannah) and catching up with old ones (Michelle, Thai, Chris, Mikey)

5. A good all out rock ballad, or just a ballad will do :P

6. A funny movie

7. Reading a good book, so far ive finnished the Twilight Saga, The Devil Wears Prada

8. Chilling out on Facebook, tending to my farm and stuff lol

9. Hugs with my Stewie, lots and lots of hugs and kisses

10. And also the knowledge that everything works itself out in the end and things will get better :)


Im baaack!

After a year away, full of climbing and getting muddy...alot. Im back on terrafirma. Back to the norm. Well almost.
In the past year I have boosted my confidence, then lost it a bit from being out of work for a while aaand found my self an amazing boyfriend. I really thought Id be waiting a good few years till I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. But Ive done it. He is so kind and caring. And funny, he's always making me smile.
Im living with him now and I couldnt be happier. Tough times have followed lately but hey, its nothing I cant get through. Maybe with a few tears, but hey, Im a sensitive soul.

Anyhoo, now that I back and going to Uni in september! whoop!, and so much more new stuff happening, I'll have plenty to jott down, type away in the boring moments :P And figured why not write it all down at dust off the cobwebs on my live journal.